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In the year since the publication of her second memoir, Resilience, Elizabeth Edwards has once again found herself living in the glare of the media spotlight. Now, in an eloquent, intimate, and emotionally powerful new afterword to her #1 national bestselling book, she offers readers a window into her world at a time when she is required to adjust once more to a new reality and to forge a new life for herself and her children.
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Elizabeth Edwards has written a fascinating book on her life and the storms she has weathered. From the death of her father and son, to her mother’s suspicions of infidelity in her own marriage and Elizabeth’s reality of John’s affair, this is one strong woman. She is brutally honest in her reaction to her son’s death and living with cancer. For all the pre-release publicity, there is surprisingly little about John’s affair. I wasn’t looking for the tabloid details. Instead I was hoping she would be as honest about the aftermath of the affair as she was about other aspects of her life. How did they deal with it immediately? How was the trust re-broken after he finally told the whole truth? What has her relationship been with her children, especially the adult daughter? How are the kids and extended family feeling about John? How are they mending their relationship?
I would definitely buy and read the book again. Although more details were available in the Oprah interview regarding the affair, her honesty and thought processes are incredible. As I said, she is a strong woman.
Rating: 4 / 5
I can well identify with Elizabeth. My daughter committed suicide 5 years ago this month, I found I had breast cancer last September(stage II like Elizabeth’s was originally), and I, too, have experienced betrayal and lies from someone I loved. To me, she really wrote 3 books. The first and the one that took up almost 70% of the text, was her still mourning the loss of her son. I understand that and know she will always have a hole inside of her that nothing will fill, but time will ease. The second book was about her cancer. All of us survivors are so often surprised with our diagnosis. Like her, there didn’t seem to be the usual contributing factors, but never mind, there it is! This is a hard book for us cancer survivors because like it or not, “recurrence” is a word that sends chills down our backs. Then there’s John. When one is so betrayed, it’s easier to blame the others involved and too hard to really look at the betrayor. She looks at her life, trying to figure out what went wrong to cause all of this to fall on her. I think she’s correct that how women are raised to believe in “Cinderella” stories, infects how we deal with the world. We don’t seem to be adequately prepared to foresee some of these unhappy events of real life. She saw that in herself and took the responsibility for it. She doesn’t blame God. How many times do cancer survivors hear that maybe God caused this to happen because of some positive thing. Cancer ain’t a gift, folks!
People have the choices to be victims or to be resilient. That is her choice and I believe she will grow even stronger as time passes. There is much criticism abroad for her writing this book, often written by people who have not experienced the things she has experienced. Maybe they should quiet down and read it again. It may come in handy in the future!
Rating: 4 / 5
I have so much respect for Elizabeth Edwards. She has written a beautiful and heartbreakingly honest book – I have read all her books and have found all of them to be inspiring. This most recent book however, is the best. She is brutally honest about her cancer, the loss of her son and especially about the infidelity of her husband. I don’t know why her husband chose to be unfaithful, but I hope he can live with himself. Elizabeth is a tremendous lady. I am grateful she has chosen to share her experiences with us – I draw strength from her wisdom.
Rating: 5 / 5
… is something that Elizabeth Edwards knows a lot about. Grieving mother, cancer patient and a wife scorned could all fit her very well, but the label she wears most proudly is survivor, to the nth degree. Edwards new book, which she muses about the nature of resiliency, is a powerhouse of endurance, self-help, and perseverance.
I can imagine that many people who are going to pick up this book are looking for the lurid details of the latest news in Elizabeth Edwards’ life, mainly, the affair her husband Democratic Vice Presidential candidate John Edwards had with a videographer on his campaign. As Edwards says herself, those details will not be found in the book. What is there, which she talks about in her second to last chapter, is her reactions to the affair, and her thought process she went through as she dealt with the betrayal of vows.
But oh, the book is so much more than that. Sometimes, “celebrity” writers are choppy and rambling in their books, even if “ghost written” by someone else. Not so Edwards. Her writing is evocative, personal, and incredibly engaging. Much of the book she wanders through the myraid of feelings she had as her sixteen year old son Wade died in a freak of nature car accident. Edwards as a grieving mother is beautiful and heartbreaking. The chapter she devotes exclusively to Wade cannot be read with a dry eye. Her writing evokes her personal journey in a way that has to be experienced.
But this is not a book of sadness; no, this is a book of continuing on. In the first chapter, she talks about her father’s massive stroke and how, after she was told he was brain dead, he continued to live on, almost eighteen years. That lesson gave Edwards the stamina and courage to face whatever obstacles she would encounter in her own life. As she so beautifully put it, you have to “adjust the sails”.
I am planning on keeping this book for my lifetime. When time offers trials to me, and I feel like I cannot endure, Edwards’ words will give me a renewed sense of comfort. This book would also be an excellent gift to anyone grieving the loss of a relationship, a child, a parent; while each of our journeys is personal, the wisdom shared from that path, as Edwards remarkably does in this slim yet powerful book, can enlighten the road for all of us.
Rating: 5 / 5
I am a great admirer of Elizabeth Edwards. It takes enormous courage to write about such personal and painful subjects as your own cancer, the death of your father, the death of your son and your husband’s affair. She is certainly resilient, a quality one needs when faced with the kind of betrayal she has faced–both from her own body, and from her husband.
As the author of a book about older women and divorce, He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40I am nowhere near as resilient as Edwards–I became clinically depressed when my husband left me for another woman. Eventually I moved on but it took a long time and a lot of therapy. It was touch and go for a while which was scary. However, I did run across many divorcees who went through worse experiences than mine, who were remarkably resilient and bounced back from incredible adversity.
Resilience is both our genes and our upbringing. If we’re lucky enough to have a sunny disposition to begin with, and the kind of parenting which sets us up to feel secure and capable in the world, we can rescue ourselves when we need to. If we didn’t have that kind of parenting, we can still overcome obstacles, but it’s a hell of a lot harder. Edwards is a role model for women who face tragedy and who need inspiration and the reassurance that it is possible to survive just about anything.
Erica Manfred
author
He’s History, You’re Not: Surviving Divorce After 40
Rating: 5 / 5